An intentional fall: creating family traditions that feel right

Years ago, when our kids were little, I started to really struggle with Halloween. So much of it centered on fear and gore, and that wasn’t what I wanted our kids to look up to. But fall is also such a beautiful time: the change of seasons, the crisp air, the chance to gather. There are so many wonderful memories to be made.

A conversation that changed everything

A recent conversation with a friend inspired me to write this. She was just “done” and had decided to skip the season altogether, which is understandable. With how commercial our holidays have become, it can feel easier to just say no. But we also want our kids to experience the joy of the seasons. Holidays can hold some of our best memories, the moments that connect us, make us laugh and remind us what family is all about.

Every family is different, and certain traditions will feel right for yours. The key is to be intentional. Don’t just go with the flow, and don’t worry about what others think (let’s be honest, everyone will have an opinion). Do what feels right for your family.

A peek into our fall traditions

Our kids love fall because of the traditions we’ve created together: the pumpkin patch, carving and painting pumpkins, cozy nights snuggled in blankets reading stories, and warm soup simmering on the stove.

Each year, our kids choose costumes that inspire them, often their favorite scripture heroes or storybook characters. One year, our youngest wanted to be a light, because her favorite Primary song is “This Little Light of Mine.” That one took some creativity, but if she wanted to walk around as a light, that was amazing.

On Halloween night, we go trick-or-treating as a family and meet up with friends. We have warm soup and bread before we head out, so little tummies aren’t running on candy alone, and hot chocolate is waiting when we get home. It’s a simple, stress-free night for our family.

Our Halloween night at a glance

• 5:00 Warm soup, bread and family pictures
• Then About an hour of trick-or-treating together, meeting up with friends
• 7:30 Home for the candy trade and high-protein hot chocolate
• After Little ones get ready for bed, and teens head out to parties with friends, or our basement becomes the teen-friend hangout — which is always my favorite

Our kids know the drill

When our kids were little, I would sort through their baskets and set aside the candy with artificial food coloring, which, honestly, is most of it. Now that they’re older, they do it themselves. They keep the chocolate and know they can have a little each day after they’ve eaten something nourishing. Most of the time, they forget about it after a few weeks.

Teaching kids balance

This is the beauty of not making treats forbidden or “all or nothing.” When you teach your kids balance and how to set aside what doesn’t serve them, they learn to self-regulate, and that takes the pressure off mom. We want our kids to know how to make healthy choices for themselves, whether they’re 5 or 25, because (cue the tears) one day they’ll be on their own. We want them to have what they need to be healthy for life.

Teach your kids balance, and they learn to self-regulate — which takes the pressure off mom.

Making it work for every age

Through the years, we’ve made adjustments as our kids have grown. Our teens love spending time with our family but also want to see their friends, and our schedule lets them do both.

We start at 5 pm with dinner and pictures. We only trick-or-treat for about an hour, so we’re home by 7:30. The kids do their candy trade and have high-protein hot chocolate, then our little ones get ready for bed (which is great, because as every mom knows, the later it gets, the faster it goes downhill). After our family time, our teens head out to Halloween parties with friends, or our basement becomes the teen-friend hangout — which is always my favorite.

The memories we keep

We take lots of pictures: at the pumpkin patch, carving and painting pumpkins, and dressed up in costumes. These are the memories our kids will carry when they’re grown. Each fall, I put up photos from past years, little reminders of fun, family and togetherness. That’s what I want them to remember most.

When it’s time for a change

If something in your family traditions doesn’t feel right, maybe it’s time to make a change. Prayerfully consider what is right for your family.

It’s easy to get caught up in what the world says holidays should be, and so much of it is about spending and distraction. Hold on to what matters most: family, purpose and the sacred work of motherhood.

As Julie B. Beck taught, “Mothers who know do less.” They choose what bears good fruit and let the rest go. I feel proud to walk that road.

A final thought

If you’re feeling the pull to do things differently this season, you’re not alone. There’s so much beauty in creating family rhythms that reflect your values, ones that build connection, bring peace and show who you truly are.

Let that mom intuition guide your heart and home as you live more intentionally, one beautiful fall day at a time.

With love, Heather

Body Balanced. Life Changed.™